No Good Thing

“No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” – Psalm 84:11

It was a Monday night when I read these words, several weeks after I learned that Drew and I were pregnant with our first child.

In just a few short weeks we had already loved, prayed for, and dreamed about meeting the little one growing inside of me. I wrote in my Bible next to this verse “what a great promise!” As I thought about what it would be like to feel this baby move inside of me, what it would be like to hold him or her for the first time, what it would be like the first time this precious gift smiled at me, I claimed Psalm 84:11 excitedly. God was surely not withholding anything good from me! Thank you, God for your blessing, for graciously giving me a child for whom I had prayed!

That Wednesday, Drew and I had our first appointment with the doctor. We were eight weeks along and anticipated hearing our little one’s heartbeat. I was lying down, waiting anxiously for the doctor to turn the screen around and show us the ultrasound. Her face remained emotionless as she peered at the screen. I was suddenly aware of how quiet the room was. Shouldn’t we be hearing a beating heart? “I’m sorry,” the doctor began to say. Disappointment washed over me. In the silence of the room, “no good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” filled my mind. Did I still believe that? How could I believe that?

Two days later, on Friday, my body physically experienced the miscarriage. While I was doubled over, my abdomen cramping in a way I have never felt before, pain searing through my body, blood pouring out of me, “no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly” replayed in my thoughts almost rhythmically. Like a song I couldn’t get out of my head. Could I claim this verse now? Now that I lost a child? A child I prayed for and longed for? A child that I dreamed of meeting, holding, teaching, loving? This did not seem like a good thing. This felt like a mean trick. This felt more like God snatching a good gift from me. The gift that He had just given me. Why would He give it if He was only going to take it away? My mind reeled with thoughts of accusation, disappointment, confusion. No good thing do you withhold, God? Then what is going on? Through the tears and the pain, I tried to trust that this verse was still mine to claim.

 

Even in the midst of loss do you still believe that God is not withholding anything good from you? Do you still believe that He is faithful? Do you still believe that He is good and loving and trustworthy?

Can I say yes to those questions? Can I say yes even in the hard times? Even on the hard days?

 

I have had many tearful conversations with God since the miscarriage. I have poured over God’s Word, the only place I seem to find true peace and hope. The more I read, the more I pray, the more I see that God is good. He is faithful. He loves me and grieves with me. His purposes – although not always clear to me – are good. If you and I can trust Him in the good moments of our life, then we can trust Him in the hard moments also. Because He is unchanging. He never viciously causes harm and heartache for His children. Like Job, we learn to pray, “God gives and takes away but blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).

Does this feel impossible sometimes? Yes.

I know you have suffered loss, too. We cannot leave this world without experiencing loss of some kind. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of an unborn child. It’s all painful and confusing and unimaginably difficult. But I am walking a road where God is using that loss to draw me closer to Him. This road, while not one I would have chosen for myself, is teaching me about His love, about his faithfulness, about what it looks to trust Him to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds (Psalm 147:3).

 

What road of loss have you walked? What parts of God’s character are evident to you because of that journey?

 

In the midst of it all – the blessings, the answered prayers, the days filled with joy as well as the pain, the disappointments, and the days filled with tears – are you able to believe that God is good? In the midst of it all may we repeatedly believe, “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

Author: Callie Clayton

I am a Jesus follower who deeply values honesty, friendship, and chocolate. I want this space to be a reminder that you are not alone! In both the messy and sweet parts of life, God has something to say to you. Let's seek his voice and his Truth because without that, nothing else matters!

15 thoughts on “No Good Thing”

  1. Callie, I’m so sorry for your loss & understand the sadness you feel. The moment you find out you’re pregnant you have hopes, dreams & plans for your family. I also know from personal experience that God has a plan for your family that we don’t know yet. While He mourns with you over your precious baby, he has also laid out a wonderful plan for you. I was just telling someone the other day that the heartbreak I felt 19 years ago dulls in comparison to the joy & love I have for my nearly 18 year old son. While I’m confident I’ll meet my babies someday I know that His plan was for me to be Joe’s mom & I wouldn’t have had him if the others had survived. I also know the two babies I lost had Bee to rock them and that brought me great comfort. Stay strong!

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  2. My heart goes out to you and Drew. We have been there and know how you two are feeling. However, he did bless us months later with a wonderful and beautiful baby girl, Caitlin Danielle. God is good but sometimes it is hard for us to believe and understand that. I do believe that he will two bless you and Drew with a child in the future. Keep your faith.

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    1. Thank you Vicki! Your daughter has been an encouragement and great friend to me! It certainly helps to know we’re not alone in our struggles! Thanks for sharing your story – and your daughter – with me!

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  3. Oh, Callie. As we prepare to study Psalms, I have been pondering the biblical example of “lamenting” — which is always done with a focus on God’s character…what a beautiful example of your very own “psalm,” ultimately bring glory to the Lord…love you so very much…huge hugs!

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  4. I’m sorry for your loss, but thankful for your message and your inspiring faith. You’re right…there are all kinds of losses we experience in life. And, to each one of us the loss is personal. But, He is always with us to remind us we are not alone. May you and Drew experience new blessings as you heal from this loss. Thank you for sharing. Hugs.

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  5. I just want to give you a big hug! I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little one. But I know we will see our babies in heaven again. Your words were so timely for me to read today. I needed that reminder that God is good, even in the midst of our confusion and sadness. For that reminder, I thank you. Hugs and prayers to you and Drew.

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    1. I’m so glad my story brought you hope! Believing and trusting all of the things we know about God when our circumstances are hard…that’s a true test of faith. Easier said than done. But He is faithful!

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